"So, we got the results back from the breath and stool tests."
I felt like smiling when I heard the doctor say those words. Not because it was a humorous situation but because I was going to finally know what on earth was wrong with me and get healed!
"Okay, and...?" as I said those words I noticed the solemnity of his face as he answered "And, they all came back negative."
I could feel my face fall as he handed out the test result paperwork to me and my mom, who was sitting in a nearby chair. I bit my lip and dug my fingernails into my arms, I couldn't cry. Not now! I've been so strong and being weak isn't what these people need to see.
"So ... what do I do ... ?" I say, as I feel my eyes filling with tears.
"Well...You have a very complex case...I'm not really sure where to start."
Good Morning, world!
That doctor's visit on that early, cold November day is one of the reason's I've dropped the ball with blogging.
When I first started to write about my health my reasons were simple.
1.) For family who lives far and wants to know what goes on
2.) So people who are interested but don't have time to hear the whole story can read about it in their own time
3.) To help encourage others who are going through painful and hard health struggles.
Except, that visit left me feeling so hopeless.
A X-Ray of my stomach was brought up as an option, so that's where my mom and I headed after the appointment.
I left the doctors office without a single tear only to get in the car and not be able to stop crying.
It was a long day and I don't know how I would have gotten through it if it weren't for all the amazing people in my life.
I don't like to make my Instagram feed sappy or sad but in that moment I didn't care.
I saw these pasted up on a glass door at the Radia Imaging Center and snapped a picture with the caption of "Sometimes Merry and Bright is hard to be..."
My sweet mom held my hands and grabbed tissues for my endless flow of tears.
In the weeks that have passed I see this Instagram post and often think that I want to delete it.
Delete that bad memory.
That bad day.
My selfish attitude at how distressed I was that I wasn't getting better.
There is so much that makes me hate how petty I feel that post made me look.
I keep it because it is a very true post.
We all need to fall and become completely broken before we become humble enough to let God be our strength and light in our life.
I was trying so hard to be strong I forgot that God is my strength when I am weak.
I need to stay humble during all this and ask for what God wants for my life and not what I want.
In December I was told that nothing out of the ordinary stood out in my X-Ray.
I also got my blood drawn quite a few times!
I'm sure by now you're curious to know what I do know about my health.
Well, so am I!
It seems that I may have severe Candida in my Intestine, ( that somehow the tests just haven't seen it )
My Thyroid is more off than we thought.
I still can't digest food well.
And perhaps something with my pancreas enzymes.
My doctor says I was malnourished when I came to him, and one of the reasons that happened was because of being on the AIP diet for soo long! After 30 days you're supposed to see improvement, with 90 days being the maximum. So I was eating good food, but not getting anywhere near the nutrients I needed. I've sort of been floundering around for what to eat of late.
When I don't eat anything I feel great!
(But according to my parents that is not an option.)
I have had quite a few allergy tests, and the 4 things that always come back positive are Gluten, Dairy, Eggs, and Peanuts.
So currently I'm just trying to stick to a veggie based diet, with a limit on my sugar intake.
There have been a couple of diets that I have come across since November and one of them that really stuck out to me was The Soup Cleanse.
I have since then bought the book and have even done a trial run with a 5 day soup cleanse!
Sadly, it wasn't much of a success.
They allow you to snack if you need to after each meal, and one of the things that is okay is Dried Apricots.
But Dried Apricots isn't something that apparently agrees with my body.
Thus Day 1 went well and day 2 started out well but ended badly. Day 3 and 4 were fatal attempts, and by the end of Day 5 I was so sick of/on the soup, so I was sort of throwing in the towel.
I'll admit I have never been more disappointed in myself as normally when I make a diet plan, I can stick to it!
I'm not sure if the Soup Cleanse has actually worked... due to how much my body is out of whack it's rather hard to know.
So I keep sort of doing one day cleanses as if anything it's not hurting my body.
And that's where I'm at. I don't think I'll be posting more AIP recipes, as I'm mostly not eating them anymore. Though, I do still plan to post about food!
I'm afraid this is rather a droll post, but it is an update.
Thank you to all of you who have been such big supports in my life! I don't know what I'd do without you all! I love you all SO VERY MUCH! 💖